The point is not to try harder; it's to resist life less.
"The point is not to try harder; it's to resist life less." — Anne Lamott
In a recent interview with David Perell, Anne Lamott shared this brilliant reminder about creativity and human nature. As writers, practitioners, and humans, we often trap ourselves in the belief that progress requires brute force—more willpower, harder pushes, and relentless effort.
What can you do today?
In my work as a clinician and author, I see this exact dynamic play out in the physical body every day. When your biological hardware is under-fueled or overwhelmed, the nervous system naturally braces and resists. We try to force productivity, writing, or health habits through pure exhaustion, treating life like a mountain we have to conquer rather than a process we participate in.
What happens if you stop trying to push through the wall and simply resist life less?
Would you finally go out dancing?
Would you reach out and ask that colleague to coffee?
Would you stop demanding a 10-mile run for health, and instead walk around the block, eat a carrot, and call it a win?
One of my early mentors used to remind her students of a crucial truth:
“It is not the outcome that matters most; it is the try and try again.”
Lowering the bar isn't giving up—it’s fueling your nervous system so you can take the first step without triggering panic or paralysis. You don't need a masterpiece today. You just need to show up for the try.
I often set a number of times that I will try.
By 10 times, I don’t have thoughts of hating it and can name some things that I appreciate.
By 30 times, I know the routine; I have a pattern.
By 100 times, it has its own energy and is building to something I could not see before I started.
Everybody has different transition times. What is yours? Start with something small. Commit to a process.
If you resisted life a little less today, what small step would you take?
